an apology.

[TranceCrafter]

Not trying to excuse my past rudeness but I have been tormenting myself trying to figure out a way to make money doing music for a living. I also have been through many aspects of the music industry that included personal shit happening (people judging me because i have autism)...(being rejected because I had autism and being fooled with by people for months if not years at a time).

I have addictions I've been dealing with. and all this time I know my music is good but I also know it's so close to being like hans zimmer/beethoven meets linkin park/armin van buuren.

I have an obsession with finding ways to defend my music because a lot of the time I feel like my family does not support me. my family overall does, but my immediate family (without getting into too much personal shit) treat me in ways that I don't know a lot of the time anymore. here I am, just turned 30 and my mom is telling me to give up on my dreams because she doesn't think they are worth fighting for. she fought for me my whole life and now she's giving up on it because according to her I can't do it.

and that hurts, hearing that from my mom. I also know my product is VERY professional. and I've made enough progress I might be able to make it work as my own label managing all of my own media outlets and my own brand.

****

so, all of that aside, I'm in a tough situation. and I don't think my behavior the past few weeks was reflectant on how I feel about fl studio. I love this software and it's one of the main tools in my arsenal.

I apologize for how some of these things with my mental health have affected my words. trying to get some shit together at the moment.

I hope I can be a better contributing member in this community.

* feels *

[MvR]

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